Kids say the Darnedest Things

Today Kaleb has told me he has to go to the Alligator store to buy a switch for a remote control sasquatch and that his belly is telling him he has to take a bath.

......and go!

"mommy did it" - lil B said after farting loudly...

L is full of them- but so far the best this morning was telling me to tee tee on the potty for her because she was too comfortable to get up...


"You need to teetee?"

"yeah..."


"well go sit on the potty"


"no my mommy. I'm comforble. You do it for me peeze?"

I like this one:

"Mama! There's a hair in my butt."

That is followed by my ever-empathetic:

"Well, don't stick hair up your butt."

Daddy don't flush me down the toilet. I'm a good girl.

This is what Kylee told her dad on the way home.


Bella this morning on the way to the airport...

Is daddy going to spank me?

Me, No

Are you going to hit my hand?

Makes me wonder what she did to think that she needed to get in trouble.

When asked if he had peed his pants...

It wasn't me, my penis did it.


That is now Colin's new favouritest line ever.

hahahaha! that's awesome!


now the third topic down on similar topics...wtf?

WHAAAAT?!?! child size condoms?!?

hey..i can't find the similar topics today ? i do remember some fuss about smaller sized condoms . they have always been available for smaller men , but there was suggestions that they use this size in health clinics and school dispensers as a preventative to issues that teens have when trying to use a condom too large .

then again...not too many men would like to have to buy an XS sized pack for selves , so they could use the line at store , "hey , these are for my younger brother/teenage son ?"

Kaleb: Mommy, I'm hungry
Me: Would like a banana?
Kaleb: Do we have any wine?
Me: Well we're out of wine, but I wouldn't give it to you anyways, wine is just for grown-ups.
Kaleb: Awwwwwwww, but I love wine.
(as far as I know he's never had a taste of wine in his life)
Me: Well, when you're a grown-up you can have some wine
Kaleb: Big Excited Smile
(2 minutes later)
Kaleb: Mommy mommy I'm bigger now, can I have some wine please?
Me: No, Kaleb, you're bigger but not a grown-up yet. Only grown-ups can have wine
Kaleb: Does Papa have wine?
Me: Yes, I'm pretty sure Papa has wine at his house.
Kaleb: Can I call Papa and ask him for HIS wine?
Me:

poor kid...first he got gypped out of PIE and now can't have some wine...

maybe you can get him a bottle of sparkling white grape...

That's exactly what you need. A 2-year old telling people that he loves wine. Makes me glad that mine doesn't talk.

My mom gives the kids juice in mini wine glasses for holidays, maybe that's what he was talking about??

Ronin; there are a LOT of days I wish he didn't haha

(watching Finding Nemo for the 50 millionth time this week...)

L: Mommy- Nemo is gonna touch the butt.

me: I know baby.

L: Mommy- Nemo is gonna get stole away from his daddy because he touched the butt. he was bad.

me: I know baby.


L: Mommy- I think Nemo needs a spankin.

Kapi wrote:

My mom gives the kids juice in mini wine glasses for holidays, maybe that's what he was talking about??

Ronin; there are a LOT of days I wish he didn't haha

yeah...for this past NYE...I didnt bother with champagne...we popped a bottle of Welch's baby... ~ ()

Hahaha, while we were just now watching that commercial for tooth whitener, where the talent agent tells the actress to whiten her smile, so no coffee or wine, Sarah turns around and looks at me with shock on her face. 'No coffee and no wine?!?!?!?!?! How can any grown-up live like that? They must just be teasing cause it's a commercial right mommy? 'I know that commercials don't always tell the truth don't I mommy?'

Was it shameless of me to agree with her? Cause my answer was 'that's right hunny, commercials don't always tell the truth. I'm not sure how any grown-up lives without coffee and wine' Then I took a sip of my wine.

Now I'm wondering if I should be embarrassed that my last 2 kidisms involved wine? I'm sure that must say something bad about me

I find that aweseome and hilarious all at the same time.

It certainly says something about how well my kids know me

My 4 year old knows that mama can't live without her coffee too.

She also has just informed me that my sweater is not a drawbridge.

My 2 year old refuses to refer to her tea-set as a tea-set...

She will correct you if you ask for tea as a matter of fact...

"No mommy/daddy/mawmaw whoever... we drink tea out of GLASSES...dis is for your coffee... and you need to drink it 'fore it gets cold and you go "EW...cold coffee."


awww...my lil southern sweet potato. lol Tea is on Ice and coffee is Warm... I feel a bit proud at the moment.

We drink tea hot, and Sarah LOVES it. She's had a few little tea parties for her friends, where we bring out the pretty pink table cloth and fancy tea cups and put pink and purple sugar cookies on a silver tray with flowers on the table. The whole shebang lol. Only it took me a couple times to realize that my kid was the only one actually drinking the tea (chamomile with honey, I wasn't giving other peoples kids normal black tea, though Sarah drinks that too ) One of the little girls told me she couldn't drink tea because she was a vegetarian haha, I tried to tell her it was vegetarian safe tea, but she wouldn't believe me lol. But none of the other kids would touch it either, though they weren't as creative in their refusals. And yet, somehow the entire pot of tea managed to disappear after each party.......

Kylee handing me my debit card out of my wallet, "You can now order me some pizza."

*snort* you can now order me some pizza too.